


you know, wine and women is all I crave

by Lorelei_Daystar, maggells



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feels, Magical Shenanigans, Smut, drunk demon girlfriend, so many drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 10:15:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorelei_Daystar/pseuds/Lorelei_Daystar, https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggells/pseuds/maggells
Summary: "Auntie Lilith" likes sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Not necessarily in that order. Set a couple of years after Sabrina starts at the academy. Established, dysfunctional Madam Spellman relationship. Will be a multi-chapter fic told from different character perspectives. Future chapters will be explicit. Co-written by Lorelei_Daystar and Maggells. Send us crazy ideas to include in future chapters or future fics!





	1. Ambrose

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the companion Spotify playlist to this fic here:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/xdani_gorex/playlist/3263DkEg1WEJvhA3L8cu0R?si=fnyuAXeZQdCTus13vb_Vlg

"I just want to smoke my cigarettes and drink my whiskey and for you to love me for the monster I am." --Christopher Poindexter

...

Ambrose distinctly remembered turning his sound system off before he’d left for the academy earlier. He’d put his records back in their dust covers and carefully aligned them on the low shelf by his bed. So when he walked through the wide front door of the mortuary, he was surprised to be greeted by the pulsing thrum of a bass guitar drifting down the spiral staircase that led to his quarters. 

Odd, that hadn’t even been the record he’d been listening to while he worked on his current project for Father Blackwood this morning. Unless Sabrina had decided to skip school and had miraculously developed a decent taste in music, or Salem had suddenly grown magic thumbs (which wasn’t entirely outside the realm of goblin shape-shifting possibility), someone was rifling through his things uninvited. 

Cautiously ascending the steep metal stairs, the relieving scent of familiar perfume tinged with sulfur and hellfire wafted down the stairs along with a pungent cloud of weed smoke. His favorite honorary demon aunt was in town. And she’d brought party favors as per usual. Excellent.

“Aunt Zelda isn’t even home,” he teased, sidling through the doorway of his room to find the demoness sprawled across his floor flipping through records haphazardly. He’s sure she already knew Auntie Zee was out, or else she’d definitely be in someone else’s room, doing something (someone) else entirely. 

“Thank you boy Spellman for thrilling me with that astute observation. Your mental acumen knows no bounds. Really, I never would have realized-- poor, ignorant creature like myself. I’d surely have wasted away alone in this dingy little attic waiting for her to appear out of thin air,” she derided him easily from her spot on the floor, reclining against the edge of his makeshift bed. 

Smoke clouded the room and made everything hazy and sweet as he chuckled at her welcome sarcasm, tossing his bag and scarf onto the cluttered desk in the corner, he sunk down to sit beside their unexpected guest on the hard floor. He had been beginning to wonder when the visitor in question was planning to pop back in. It’d been a bit longer than usual this time. Aunt Zelda’s mood had soured with each passing week until they’d all taken to urgently praying for the demon’s reappearance, if only for their own sanity. 

His eyes cut through the heady fog to linger on her crossed legs, jean-clad and sinfully defined. He wasn’t sure for a moment if she had on anything beneath the well-worn leather jacket wrapped around her shoulders, too much smooth skin on display as it hung open at her chest. A perfectly rolled joint was half burned between her red-lacquered fingertips, delicate wrist draped over the edge of the bed with a careless grace. Not for the first time, he had to remind himself that the woman before him was not a woman at all but a demon. A demon that was sleeping with his aunt, to boot. Steady on.

“Never took you for a Cream fan.” He bumped her shoulder playfully with his own.

“Then you’re a cretin. It’s Clapton’s seminal work.” 

He leaned into her side casually and took the joint from her proffered hand, taking a long, deep drag. Bloody hell, that’s good. He only then noticed the half drank bottle of liquor on the floor beside her and snatched it up, as well. 

He couldn’t remember when this had started to become a habit. Getting blitzed with his Aunt’s demoness girlfriend. Or when it had stopped being intimidating to be in the presence of the Mother of Darkness herself. But if that meant free weed and booze, he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Gift demon in the mouth? Demon gift horse? Satan this was strong weed. 

“So… it’s been awhile Aunt Lil. Where’ve you been off to this time?” It would be terribly rude to drink up her liquor and smoke all her pot without at least attempting polite conversation. 

“Here and there. Madrid, most recently.” She’s picking at a loose thread on his rug as she shrugs vaguely.

“What's in Madrid?” He probably isn’t allowed to ask that but she just won’t answer if she can’t. Or doesn’t want to.

“I have a group of harpies there. Every now and then they… require my attention.”

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know exactly what that meant. Let’s pretend she meant it diplomatically. Sometimes he could forget that she did actually have other responsibilities, that she was still the Dark Lord’s minion and didn't just exist to shag his aunt and cause chaos in his household.

She takes the joint back from him and sucks in a long drag, eyes closed, chin tilted up as she deftly blows smoke rings back out toward the ceiling. He doesn't ask any more questions for a while, just passes the joint and bottle lazily back and forth between them in companionable silence as the record ends, hissing and popping in the background. He was sure none of them, maybe not even Aunt Zelda, knew exactly what the demon was up to when she was gone and she didn’t seem to be in a sharing mood tonight. 

When she was here, she was just Auntie Lilith, Aunt Zelda’s flighty, irresponsible drunk girlfriend. Not the Mother of Demons. Not the Dawn of Doom. Especially not, Circe forfend, Satan’s concubine. (He really hoped that one wasn’t literal but couldn’t imagine actually asking). Moreover, when she was here Aunt Zelda was Lilith's drunk, irresponsible girlfriend and Ambrose still had trouble wrapping his head around that one.

They had kept this arrangement up for the last few years steady. Lilith still wearing Mary Wardwell’s face, although she no longer truly needs the disguise. He’d always assumed she simply grew fond of this form. Or maybe she was convinced Zelda had. She dropped in seemingly randomly to “keep tabs on Sabrina and her successes at the academy” but, under closer examination, seemed much more interested in drinking away her days, doing as many drugs as possible, and keeping his Aunt thoroughly distracted for the days or weeks she was in town. She rarely stayed for longer and, honestly, he wasn't sure Aunt Hilda's nerves could handle her for more than the few weeks that was habit. 

Before he knows it, the rest of the joint is smoked, the woefully empty glass bottle of whiskey lies discarded on its side, and Ambrose catches himself staring at Lilith’s ass as she crawls on her hands and knees toward the skipping record player against the far wall. She switches out the vinyl with somehow still steady hands and the opening bars of “Gimme Shelter” fill the small space with palpable nostalgic longing. 

“You’ve never really struck me as a Stones fan, honestly.” 

Lilith snorted derisively, “Who the fuck isn’t a Stones fan?”

She stops at the low table beside his mattress and does a line of finely crushed powder he only just realized must have been prepped and sitting there since before he arrived home, making her way back to her claimed spot on his floor with a bit more pep in her step. He could guess at what it was, but has been tragically mistaken in the past. There was more laid out over there and the temptation to indulge in more of Lilith’s many vices is as strong as ever but he should really pace himself. He has no idea how long this particular visit will last and he unfortunately cannot keep up with her hellish tolerance.

“There aren't many things humankind, mortal or otherwise, have done in the last century that have been worth my attention, but the rise of classic rock music really has been a beautiful evolution. Notably, the 1960s and 1970s. Now that was a fun couple of decades.” 

She hummed along with the band, tapping her high heeled boot in time with the melody. Her palm restlessly drummed against her thigh as she mimicked the whine of the guitar solo before continuing. “This 45 will never do them proper justice, my boy. You should have seen them live. Picture it: front row, half naked groupies throwing their panties up on the stage, more drugs than you've seen in your entire life and half of them in me already…the drugs, not the groupies. That came later.” 

Ambrose howled with laughter, reaching behind the mattress to pull another bottle of liquor out of hiding. Lilith’s eerily blue eyes lit up at the sight and she happily snatched the booze from him to take the first swig. She passed it back with a positively indecent moan, patting down the pockets of her leather jacket for another joint, shrugging the leather shell off and tossing it backward onto his bed. Clad now in only a very sheer camisole, no bra (Satan forgive him for staring), and a rakish grin she lights up with a smart snap of her fingers, sucking in a deep lungful of smoke with a sigh. 

Another full bottle of alcohol, a fuck ton of pot, two more lines of the mystery substance, and a multitude of records later, she's up on her feet, spinning slowly around the room with her arms outstretched, lost in the music and whatever memories it must be conjuring up. She’s finally staggering, the combo of drugs catching up to her demonic metabolism, her words when she speaks coming out slurred and drowsy. 

One of Zelda’s cigarettes is dangling between the fingers of one hand, the other sliding unconsciously up her side causing the thin material of her shirt to twist and bunch as she sways, the smooth skin of her abdomen peeking out and Dark Lord help him, was that a navel ring? Once again, Ambrose has to remind himself that she is a demon who eats men and who is sleeping with his aunt. He should not find any of that attractive (but secretly, really kind of does). 

“Now this is a song…” she purrs, smoke haloing around her as she breathes out, eyes closed, power almost visibly shimmering along her skin as she dances alone in the middle of his small attic bedroom. “Your Aunt likes this one, too…” 

“Aunt Zelda? No way.” He makes an incredulous face. Zeppelin was blasting through the room at full volume and try as he might he just couldn’t picture his typically uptight Aunt enjoying this kind of music ever in her very long life.

"Pick your chin up, boy. You knew somewhere in that pea brain of yours she's had a life outside these walls and outside of being your Aunt. Don't act so shocked." She’s sweat slick and panting slightly as she sprawls herself across his bed luxuriously, stretching and twisting like an oversized housecat. Her pupils are huge and dark and she’s not quite focusing anymore, looking through him in her drug-induced state. The slow smile spreading across her face is dangerously alluring and he really should know better by now but her next words still catch him off guard. 

“And if you think she's got a filthy mouth on her when she's righteously angry, you should hear what comes out of that woman when my tongue is deep insi--"

"No, no, no, STOP!” He’s plugged his ears and is shaking his head in hopes of dispelling that (completely inappropriately arousing) image from his brain. “Thank you for oversharing once again but I cannot know these things, Aunt Lil, we’ve been over this...”

“Spoilsport.” She’s flopped onto her back, finishing off her stolen cigarette in a dramatic long stream of smoke before vanishing the evidence. Her face is pensive and distant again. He’s not sure where she’s drifted off to now but it’s clear she’s no longer fully here. 

“Why do you keep coming back here? And don’t give me the party line about checking on Sabrina. She’s well on her way down the Path of Night and has been for years. Everyone knows you don’t come here for her anymore.” She’s quiet for so long he’s sure she isn’t going to answer him. 

“You already know why.” It’s barely a whisper and he strains to catch every word. Of course he knows she’s here for Aunt Zee. But why here, here.

“You could go anywhere, though. Do anything, be anyone. Why don’t you take her with you?" It’s really not his business. He’s not sure what’s made him so brave tonight. Whether it’s from the alcohol or the drugs. Or maybe it’s the pervasive sadness he catches glimpses of sometimes hiding behind those big blue eyes when her guard is down on nights like tonight.

"She could join me,” the demon murmurs, voice soft and fragile like the smoke that still hangs in the air around them, laced with something Ambrose can't name, “but, as I’m told, she’s needed here. So here I am.” And if there’s bitterness or regret in that statement she manages to hide it well. The undercurrent of longing remains though.

“Wherever Zelda chooses is where I’ll be as often as I can possibly manage.” It’s probably the most honest and exposing thing he’s ever heard the demoness admit and he’s struggling to formulate a response when, as if summoned by the nature of their conversation, the front door downstairs opens with a bang, the tap of Zelda’s heels in the entryway heralding her arrival and the end of their hangout session.

“Speak of the devil,” she husks with an exaggerated wink, clamoring to her feet and sliding her leather jacket back on. She pulls a tube of blood red lipstick from a side pocket and leans over his bureau to touch-up her slightly smeared lip line from countless swigs straight from the bottle. Smacking her lips together one last time she blows her reflection a kiss and makes for the stairs, a parting shot thrown over her shoulder on the way down.

“Word of warning, dear boy: you might want to cast a silencing spell on the lower floors tonight. It’s been an obscenely long time and I’m not planning to stop until Zelda literally loses her voice screaming my name.”

As her dissipating laughter disappears down the spiral staircase, Ambrose heeds that warning, whispering the all too familiar Latin spell to block the noises he has no doubt will soon be emanating from the newly rejoined pair. A permanent grin is plastered on his face as he loses himself once again in the music, a warm, tender feeling taking up residence in his chest. He can’t quite bring himself to blame it on the drugs this time.


	2. Zelda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda comes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever! Life got in the way. My fault entirely. Hope you're all still with us!
> 
> This was supposed to be a playful, drug-fueled smut romp but Zelda decided she couldn't keep her feelings bottled up anymore. So enjoy the angst too I guess? Lol. 
> 
> Hilda chapter up next! 🖤🖤🖤

_"All you have is your fire_  
_And the place you need to reach_  
_Don't you ever tame your demons_  
_But always keep 'em on a leash"_  
_\--Hozier, Arsonist's Lullaby_

...

The autumn chill cut through Zelda more harshly than usual tonight as she briskly marched up the stone pathway to the mortuary, the fox stole wrapped tightly about her shoulders doing little to warm her. She wanted nothing more than the comfort of her liquor cabinet and a goddamn cigarette after the truly hellacious day she'd had at the Academy. Truthfully, what she really needed was a good, hard fuck but it had been weeks without seeing hide nor hare of her demon lover and, the way Zelda’s luck was going, tonight would not be any different.

She pushed open the heavy front door without ceremony, eager to get out of the cold, and was immediately accosted with the extraordinarily loud rumble of rock music and a pervasive odor of marijuana from her nephew’s upstairs quarters. For a foolish second, she thought perchance her luck was turning around and her spirits soared at the possibility of seeing Lilith tonight. Ever the brutal pragmatist though, Zelda pushed any glimmer of hope down deep and locked it away in the pit of her stomach. Most likely it was just Ambrose and the young Mr. Chalfant, reveling in their misguided youth and poor life choices, taking advantage of the empty house with Zelda teaching, Sabrina now staying on campus at the academy, and Hilda working yet another night shift for that awful little man with the name out of a greek tragedy. 

Hanging up her coat and stole perfunctorily, the irony of poor life choices wasn’t lost on the older witch as she bee-lined for the stocked liquor cart in the kitchen, not bothering with a glass as she uncorked the nearest bottle and upturned nearly a quarter of the contents down her throat in several long gulps. The expensive vodka burned like liquid fire as it raced through her, the chill in her bones from her time outside finally beginning to dissipate under its spreading heat. 

After another long pull, the itch for a cigarette was unbearable and it was with a well-practiced hand that Zelda twirled her wrist and quickly conjured her holder and an already lit cigarette, the crystal decanter of vodka still clutched tightly in the other. The first drag was practically sinful, her lungs aching as she held the smoke in as long as possible, slowly exhaling with an indecent moan full of longing.

“You filthy little slut.” Zelda feels the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand on end as the sound of the voice she has been craving every night for the better part of two months shoots through her all at once, her breath catching in her throat as she fights the urge to do something ridiculous like throw herself at the demon’s feet and beg her to never leave again. “I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already carrying on like a two-bit whore.”

Zelda stood stock-still in the dark hush of the kitchen, scarcely afraid to believe her own ears and petrified to turn around and find it was just her frustrated mind playing tricks on her. Squeezing her eyes shut against the pain of possibility, she upends the decanter into her mouth once more, gulping down another hefty measure with only a slightly trembling hand, the clear fire doing little to quell the riot of starlings that had taken flight in her stomach from the first drawled syllable behind her. 

“My, my. Ignoring me now, as well? I’ve surely left you alone far too long, pet, for you to be forgetting your manners so thoroughly.” A sudden flush of heat and the familiar tingle of demon magic crawled up her spine like the tickling sensation of Hilda’s spiders against her skin, her head swimming already from the heady mix of alcohol, nicotine, and Lilith. 

“And whose fault is that?” Zelda’s horrified as the admonishment hisses out before she can bite it back, bitter hurt coloring every inflection plainly. She can feel the fierce blush staining her cheeks as she resolutely keeps her eyes screwed shut, the feeling of the cut-glass vodka bottle being lifted from her hand and set back on the bar cart barely registering through her internal panic. When the demoness speaks again, this time she’s right in front of her and the violent urge to just fling herself into the brunette’s arms and lose herself there is stronger than ever with barely a hairsbreadth between them but, somehow, she restrains herself.

“Look at me.” The command in her lover’s tone is evident but, even without it, Zelda doubts she could withstand keeping her eyes shut a moment longer, wrenching them open to lock onto the strikingly blue ones she has missed as intently as a severed limb. “The fault is mine, entirely, and I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so terribly long. I have ached for you every day we have been apart.” 

Zelda was struck dumb with the demon’s uncharacteristic apology. She wasn’t sure exactly what she had been bracing herself for (a verbal sparring match, feigned indifference, a bevy of outlandish excuses, Lilith just turning around and leaving her all over again), but the other woman’s calm, contrite words were nothing she had expected. With the flurry of fear and anger deflating rapidly under the steadfast blue gaze, Zelda allows herself to study the demon more closely, taking in the wilder than usual dark curls, blown pupils beneath a glassy stare, and the slight sway in her stance.

“Any chance your answer would be different if you weren’t completely shitfaced right now?” Zelda was loathe to question it but she couldn’t stop the niggling doubt at the back of her mind once she realized just how intoxicated Lilith appeared, the powerful scent of weed and alcohol overwhelming even the constant earthy smell of brimstone that seemed to radiate from her skin.

“I’m always shitfaced when I’m here. You’d have more reason to doubt me if I was stone cold sober.” Unable to argue with that logic or the rakish grin that accompanied it, Zelda let herself be swept up into a kiss, the remnants of whiskey and smoke heavy on her lover's tongue and _Satan_ Lilith tasted like home.

The sharp sting of forgotten cigarette ash landing on her knuckles forces Zelda to pull away abruptly, Lilith already cradling the red-head's burnt hand gingerly, bringing it up to her mouth to soothe the pink skin with a long swipe of her tongue, the potent saliva healing the minor injury instantaneously. Lilith turns her head slightly and takes the last drag from the spent cigarette, inhaling smoothly before pointedly leaning into the other witch and blowing a slow stream of smoke into her waiting face.

“You know what I think you need right now, little one? I think you need... to catch up.” Zelda watched with great interest as Lilith pulled two rolls of ecstacy from her leather jacket pocket, dry swallowing one before placing the other on her tongue and waggling it temptingly at the other witch, a stamped serpent staring back at her from the face of the pill. In for a penny, in for a pound, she quickly vanished the last of her cigarette and holder and dragged Lilith to her by the lapels of her jacket, sucking both her waiting tongue and the drug into her mouth, swallowing the tablet cleanly between heated kisses. 

“What else did you bring, hmmm? I think I'm going to need something stronger to get on your level right now. I've had a truly abhorrent day and I'd very much like to obliterate it from my memory.” Ever since Zelda had given herself permission to touch she could scarcely stop, her restless hands running across Lilith's narrow, leather clad back, tangling themselves in soft, unruly curls.

"Patience is a virtue, my sweet girl." Zelda's answering pout was equal parts petulance and lust as Lilith snatched the decanter of vodka back up, grabbing the gin for good measure, before winding herself around the redhead and transporting them wordlessly into Zelda's bed chambers. 

Zelda's stomach flip-flopped as though she was falling from a great height, exhilarated but unafraid with Lilith there to catch her. Her world had just begun to right itself from the sudden burst of demon magic that sent them hurtling upstairs without even a mumbled incantation when Lilith, laughing at the dizziness on her face, gleefully spun her around in circles where they stood, throwing her off balance once more. 

"Enough, enough!" But Zelda was giggling like a schoolgirl as they twirled faster and faster, their feet eventually leaving the ground as Lilith levitated them easily. A broad sweep of her arm sent the containers of alcohol flying precariously toward the nightstand, the smattering of candles littering every available surface lighting all at once, and the steady thrum of classic rock and roll starting up from the old radio in the corner. 

Zelda held on for dear life as Lilith span them so fast in midair their surroundings became just a blur of warm darkness, semi-familiar shapes, and streaming candlelight. The demoness' preternatural heat and immense power enveloped her as they picked up speed until it felt like her very soul was being centrifugally wrenched from her body and merged with Lilith's. As the world dissolved into abstraction around them, she tried to let all of her frustration and fatigue and loneliness melt away along with it, leaving nothing but music and fire and _Lilith_.

When Zelda opened her eyes again, the room still seemed to be spinning but she was no longer hovering above it. Her limbs remained heavy and tingling, like pins and needles all over her skin. She was stretched out across the very large four poster bed in the center of the room (that Lilith had conjured the first night they spent together), the cool sheets beneath her a sharp contrast to Lilith's suffusing heat above her. The demoness was draped across the witch's body like a weighted blanket, toe to toe, hip to hip, breast to breast, palms pressed against palms as she pinned Zelda spread eagle to the mattress.

Zelda couldn't tell if Lilith was using magic to help hold her in place or if she was simply pinned to the mattress from the immensity of her own need, her limbs refusing to move from under the all-consuming intensity of her lover's stare, fathomless blue eyes searing through her like hellfire. The demon rolled her hips against Zelda's pointedly, dragging a deep, plaintive moan from the redhead, her body alight already with the effects of the drug, the warm familiar buzz of alcohol and nicotine, and the always arousing presence of Lilith on top of her. 

"Are you done being cross with me, now?" Lilith teased her gently, nose brushing her own, nuzzling her carefully.

"I suppose. Although you did keep me waiting for an exceedingly long time. It was quite rude. Loathsome lack of decorum. No idea if you were alright. You couldn't have sent a letter? Used a witch board? Carrier pigeon? Smoke signals? Telepathy?" Zelda bit her cheek to stop the rush of words, eyes still flaring with hurt beneath her lashes.

"I really couldn't. I can't explain why, but I'm here now." Lilith's dark hair fell around them like a curtain and Zelda felt safe enough to ask.

"For how long?" Barely a breath against Lilith's lips.

"As long as I can." Not long then.

"Lilith…" She needs to know, needs to prepare herself.

"A few days, at best." The whispered truth and it hits Zelda like a punch to the stomach.

" _Days_?" Hours, minutes, seconds, already ticking away in her mind. The constant countdown until she's alone again.

"I know. I'm sorry." Contrition all over her face, those bright blue eyes nearly as pained as her own.

Zelda blinks back bitter tears. She doesn't want to cry right now. She doesn't want to waste the precious time they have being irritatingly sentimental and emotional. She resigns herself to push the hurt away and deal with it later, after Lilith was gone and she could collapse into her bed and sob for hours, privately.

"I need a drink." Or several.

Lilith's eyes light up at the request, seemingly glad to change the subject to one of their joint vices.

"Now _that_ I can manage." Relief in her voice that shouldn't sting but still somehow does.

Lilith summons the bottle of gin over and takes a long pull, holding it in her mouth as she leans down and kisses Zelda, slowly transferring the burning clear alcohol from her mouth to Zelda's with a push of her tongue. She accepts it gratefully, hungrily, letting it course through her and singe away the anxieties that still gnaw at her insides as they kiss.

Lilith bites at her lips, kissing her rougher, messier, lapping at a small trickle of gin trailing down her neck. The demoness begins magically pinging buttons free as she moves lower, wrenching Zelda's top open to get to her breasts, sucking a deep purple mark over her heart pointedly. It breaks something loose in Zelda, gives her permission to release the sadness and anger that's been caged there for so many weeks, lets it go on a long moan as Lilith captures a peaked nipple through the lace of her bra.

Eyes screwed shut, she jumps and gasps at the sudden chill of liquor sluicing down her skin, Lilith upending the crystal decanter and pouring a measure of the gin between the valley of her breasts as she laughs, chasing it with her tongue. Her skirt and blouse are gone with a thought, leaving her in garters and stockings as Lilith tips the bottle again, a small pool in her navel that tickles as she sucks it up and they're both laughing now. 

More gin soaked kisses as the bottle is slowly emptied. Lilith's leather coat is tossed in the corner on top of her boots, her tight jeans unbuttoned beneath Zelda's deft fingers, top gone and they're both covered in liquor and sweat and claw marks. The music is cranked up, pulsing through them in concert with the drugs and alcohol and overwhelming lust for one another and Zelda's so high on the way Lilith's breath hitches as she scrapes her nails across her ribs the rest pales in comparison. 

"Please… Lilith… Fuck." She's panting and restless, half reclined with Lilith in her lap, thighs squeezed together in desperation, her cunt pulsing as she begs, to touch or be touched she's not sure. She only knows she needs more before she's driven mad with wanting. 

"Such an impatient thing. So needy. Look at you. Can't wait for me to touch you…" And usually these words would have Zelda more than ready, dripping down her thighs in arousal and anticipation, but right now she's horrified to find herself blinking back tears instead. Angry, bitter, burning tears.

"I _have_ waited. Weeks upon weeks of nothing _but_ waiting, Lilith! Not knowing where you were. Not knowing if you were alive or dead. Terrified you were never going to come home to me again--" Zelda snapped her mouth shut against the flood of words she couldn't seem to control, knowing she had gone too far, pushed too much, sure Lilith would leave for good this time. She squeezed her eyes closed against the threat of falling tears and the unknown emotions sure to be all over Lilith's face. Disgust, disappointment, _pity_.

"Zelda. Look at me." Quiet but clear, firm. This was not a request. Steeling herself for the worst, she slowly opened her eyes and found Lilith smiling down at her, slow and sweet and pained at the corners, completely unconcerned with her own partial nudity, eyes only for Zelda. "Listen to me now, little one. Are you listening?" 

"Yes." Raptly. Completely. Hungrily. Desperate for Lilith's next words to somehow erase the pervasive loneliness and fear of the last few weeks entirely. Her vision was swimming with unshed tears and the still present effects of the alcohol and drugs and she clutched at Lilith's hips like an anchor as she held her breath in anxious anticipation.

"I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm sorry you were afraid for me. I'm sorry I couldn't contact you sooner. And I'm sorry I can't stay longer this time. I never leave because I want to leave _you_. Not ever." Something cracked open in Zelda's chest at the demoness' ardent apology, the invisible vice constricting her ribs releasing after so long it was palpable, air rushing in to fill her lungs with the first full breath she's been able to take since Lilith was last here, whole and safe in her arms.

"Lilith?" A small, whispered question in the tentative hush between them. 

"Yes, my sweet girl? What do you need?" Indulgent and reverent, _loving_ , and she could ask for anything right now with assurance it would be granted if it was at all in her lover's power.

"Fuck me." The unholy light behind those otherworldly blue eyes flares and flashes dangerously at the words, mischief and adoration in equal measure. Zelda gladly loses herself in them, releases the very last reins on her self control and the desperate whimper that bubbles forth from her waiting lips seems to tip Lilith over as well. A quick, growled, messy kiss with teeth and tongues and then her sodden panties were being wrenched aside as determined fingers filled her roughly.

"Like this? Is this how you want me to fuck you, pet?" Two fingers become three immediately, deep and hard, curled against her g-spot, pressing, pressing, pressing and Zelda can barely breathe she's so close already, the effects of the drug peaking fully, her skin buzzing and flushed with warmth, every sensation heightened, every nerve on fire where Lilith touches her.

"More!" A fourth finger and she's so slick they glide into her absurdly easy, it would be so simple for Lilith to tuck her thumb and _push_ and she could have her whole hand inside her, stretching and filling her to her limits. She's ready to beg for it when Lilith bends and captures a straining nipple in the heat of her mouth, suckling and grazing it with her viciously sharp teeth until Zelda is incapable of coherent speech, eyes slammed shut, back arched, sweat beaded along her skin, toes curled against the twisted sheets, _so close so close so close_ …

"Open your eyes. Look at me." Prying her eyes open is no simple feat but the second they lock on Lilith's, bright blue shooting through her like hellfire, Zelda can't look away, completely entranced, fixed in this moment by her own torturous need and Lilith's heavy stare, everything within her drawing up, up, up at the sight.

"Lilith--" A wicked smile and sharp twist of deft fingers inside her as a response, thumb dragging carelessly over her desperate clit until the pleasure is so sharp it stings, Zelda dangling on the cliff's edge of her own climax so long she's lost track, an invisible tether preventing her freefall into ecstatic release. "Please-- oh fuck, Lilith, please-- I can't-- I need-- _please_..."

"What do you need, my love? You needed me to fuck you? I am. You needed me _home_? I'm. Right. Here." Lilith's uncanny pale eyes haven't blinked since she began speaking and Zelda wonders for a moment if she's prying into her thoughts, rooting around in the jumble of sensations and fears and needs that have risen to the surface in her lover's presence to pluck out the exact right key to unlock Zelda's orgasm and set it free. She's too far gone to keep any of her mental barriers up and truthfully she doesn't want to put them up with Lilith, even though the demoness has yet to ever drop hers fully in Zelda's presence. She suddenly knows what she needs, although she's not sure if Lilith will grant it.

"Let me in. Please…" Zelda laces a trembling hand behind Lilith's neck and brings their foreheads together, eyes still locked, sharing every hitched breath in the heated distance between their parted lips. She opens her mind fully then, the first wave of staggering arousal ricocheting back and forth between them and wrenching moans from both. But beneath that there's so much more. Every painful or joyous memory, every fleeting or stubborn hope, every secret shame, every selfish, cruel, cowardly thing she has ever done as well as every kindness or generosity she has ever bestowed, strung like fairy lights across the tenuous connection between them, Zelda's psyche turned inside out for her lover to examine at will. "Let me see you, Lilith. _Please_."

"I can't show you everything. There's far too much and most of it is locked so deep I don't even know if I can access it anymore. But I can give you _this_." Lilith pushes her fingers hard and deep at the same time as she pushes an image into her lover's mind with her own, Zelda reeling with the intensity of both overwhelming sensations at once. It was an image of Zelda on continuous loop, genuine smile stretched across her face, eyes crinkled in happiness, and surrounding it came Lilith's memories and reactions, thoughts flooding and filling Zelda until she thought she just might combust from it all: " _so beautiful, I love when you smile for me, gods your eyes, I could stare at you forever, I want you desperately, constantly, can never get enough of you, if anything ever happened to you I'd burn this world to ash, you make me reckless, I secretly love that, I love you, I love you, I love you._ "

"Lilith!" And Zelda's coming so hard she's worried she's going to black out from the power of it, clenching and gushing around the demoness' still thrusting fingers, her cunt nearly as full as her heart as Lilith's shared thought sears deep into her own memory, knitting it's way into her very subconscious, Lilith's unending love on repeat for the rest of eternity. 

"...love you. All mine. Such a good girl. I'm here, my sweet Zelda. It's alright. I've got you..." When Zelda comes back to herself she's crying in Lilith's arms, being rocked and shushed like a small child, the weight of their separation and the system shock of their mind-link leaving her trembling and exhausted. The drugs and alcohol and endorphins are wearing off and now she's utterly vulnerable, clinging to Lilith like a lifeline, like the only constant in her world at this moment, hating herself for being this weak and needy but unable to deny herself the comfort and safety of falling apart with the only person she trusts to help put her back together again. 

"I'm sorry I've just missed you so terribly. I was so scared you weren't coming back. Oh gods, Lilith. I honestly don't think I could survive that…" Her tears were coming so hard now she was choking on them, sobbing and sobbing as Lilith simply held her, rubbing soothing strokes up and down her arms, whispering calming words of comfort and adoration but still no promises. Zelda fought to ignore that fact and get her breathing back under control. 

"Feeling better now, pet? No, no more apologies. You needed that. I did too." Lilith kept one arm around Zelda, propped on her side pressed up against the still shuddering witch, gesturing towards the corner of the room and summoning her leather coat, rifling through the pockets quickly for a joint, lighting it with a snap of her fingers as she held it between her lips and inhaled smoothly. She tilted her face against Zelda's tear stained one and caught her lips gently, slowly exhaling the stream of smoke into her waiting mouth. "There's a good girl, let's get you settled down."

"Lilith...? Can I ask you something?" Zelda's voice was so small and unsure she barely recognized it, hating being reduced to this from just a few rough weeks apart, usually priding herself on her strength and independence. But Lilith broke down all of Zelda's façades and she was still learning how to cope with that, with actually loving someone and not just using them for sex and power, with offering someone her true self and trusting them not to destroy her.

"I can't swear I'll be able to answer it but you can ask me anything Zelda." She took another long drag off the joint before pinching the end to snuff it out, setting the remainder on the nightstand and tossing her coat back across the room, Zelda gratefully accepting the exhale again when offered it, bracing herself for an answer she wasn't sure she wanted to hear. Lilith waved her hand and the music shuts off, the candle flames lowering, the rest of their clothing gone and a blanket wrapped securely around them. "I'm all ears, my love. What do you want to know?"

"After all this time, after everything He's done to you, why…" She lets the sentence trail off, not sure if she should finish, letting Lilith take over as she so often does.

"Why do I stay? Keep working for Him? Serving Him?" Lilith proves once more she's far braver than Zelda and lays out the questions for her plainly. She doesn't seem offended by the query but her eyes have gone dim and she's looking through Zelda now, seeing or remembering things Zelda has no desire to guess at and she wishes for a split second she could simply cast a spell and make Lilith forget every moment of pain and sadness that rests on her weary shoulders like a shroud of trauma weighing her down. "It's all I've ever known."

"We could help you, Lilith. We could _fight_ Him. You wouldn't be doing it alone. You could win your freedom. Be with me all the time… if you wanted…" Where Lilith's eyes have gone dark and blank Zelda's own are alight with possibility and stubbornness, her small hand finding Lilith's beneath the sheets and lacing their fingers together in solidarity. "You don't deserve the things he does to you Lilith…"

Lilith is silent so long Zelda starts to think she's not going to answer at all, that she's gone too far, pushed too hard, the demoness' jaw clenched against some unspoken emotion, gaze still empty and unfixed but with a thin sheen of unspilled tears now. She sucks in a deep, hitching breath and blinks them away, finally meeting Zelda's soft, encouraging eyes and offering a small forced smile in return. "I can't. Please don't ask me why. There are very specific reasons that I cannot explain right now but just know that it has _nothing_ to do with not wanting to be here with you Zelda. I am _fighting_ for every moment we have together. If I could give you more I would. I would give you _everything_ , my love. It destroys me that I can't."

The blatant frustration and guilt stretched across her lover's beautiful face feels like a knife to the gut and Zelda just wants to burn it away. She pulls her down for a careless kiss, teeth clashing and noses bumping in her haste, letting Lilith crush her into the mattress with the force of everything she cannot say, a sharp keening moan spilling between them when Zelda shifts until she's half on top and the sudden engulfing heat and slickness her thigh finds has her pulling back with a heavy groan of her own. 

"Oh _Lilith_ … so wet for me... Here, let me…" But before Zelda could maneuver her hand between them to where Lilith so obviously needs it she was being gently redirected to curl up against Lilith's chest, nails scritching softly at her scalp, a hand at her hip stilling her. "Don't you want--?"

"It's alright, pet. I can wait. I just want to hold you for a bit." Lilith's voice was honeyed whiskey in her ear and she was powerless to resist, wanting sorely to return the pleasure Lilith had brought her and lose herself in the body she had missed for so long but allowing Lilith to set their pace, melting into the strong embrace easily as Lilith pressed her to her chest and resolutely kept her there. "Rest now, my love. We have time."

Zelda wanted to believe that, ached with the hope that they would have time, that Lilith would stay, that she wouldn't be wrenched away or simply evaporate like smoke, no trace of her left in Zelda's life but the weight of her own broken heart. She desperately wanted to believe that time was on their side but lying in the quiet dark of their bedroom, ear pressed to Llith's chest, each heartbeat instead of reassuring her resounded like a clock strike counting down the seconds until she was alone once more. She gulped down the insistent lump in her throat, burrowed tighter into Lilith's warmth, and resolved herself to pretend, for a few hours at least, that their bond could withstand absolutely anything.


End file.
